Trash Night Comic Fan Gifts

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Grace For Flies

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Early photobombing

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Look! No hands!"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Fish hunting for men.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

The prying mantis,

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Too much concealer?"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

"Bless You."

Suffering from Cooties?

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

"Amateurs."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.