Retro Comic Fan Gifts

'Haven't you noticed, John, we appear to be growing apart.'

"Surfboards?"

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

I know I dialed the wrong number, but I can tell you want to go out with me by your heavy breathing. Oh. I suppose that's true: an iron lung doesn't have a volume control.

Female 'Buses (A Prophecy)

'Yes, Jane, I used to swing with Sheena but that was before I met you'

'I can never remember which is a stalagmite and which is a stalactite.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

Early photobombing

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

Suffering from Cooties?

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

Batman O' War

'I'm sorry, your cheese has not matured enough!'

Route 666

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Naked Mole Rat

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'