Transportation Security Officer Pillows

'I don't care what the TSA guy at the airport told you, it's not cancerous.'

"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"

The Department of Transportation Issues an Orange Alert.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'You know too much,'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Airport Security.

Please Drove Carefully.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Dog Crossing

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

TSA Noah

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

No jay walking.

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Scarecrows guarding a field

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"Careful."

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules