Transcriber Pillows

They've been working together for so long they finish each other's sentences.

Okay, dictation monkey, can you read back to me my Hypochondriac's Handbook Rules To Live By? Not really. While you were talking, I was pretending to type what you said, but I was actually playing a video game on my phone. I can't strangle you because I don't want to touch your cold-and-flu ridden corpus. One of those moments I just relish.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Dialogue

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Political convention

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

She - Interpreter - He.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

The Family Joules: Part 6

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Jorge Luis Borges