Trainspotter With A Twist Gifts

"Wait. There's another train right behind this one."

The new trainspotting

"Excuse me driver, but your guard is stuck in the doors!"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

My God, I need to fart.

'Anorak anoraks'.

'Have you been waiting long?'

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

Latest Railway Marvel.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"The little engine that shoulda coulda woulda."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

Cool Z enters his minimalist period.

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

A railway station covered in advertising.

'It's late!...I can only hope late enough.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

'I hate when they do this.'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how the Universe keeps expanding.'

Man met with a horse instead of a carriage at the railway station

Train Of Thought

'If you want to know the exact fare you need to buy a ticket. Our prices are linked to the FTSE 100.'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Underground stop on desert island.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

'Now we have the chief executive of Wigwam rail, how can you justify the enormous fair increases.'

"Sorry we're late - our train was delayed!"