Training Tales Fan T-Shirts

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Overjumpers

"What other tricks does he need?"

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Subway Thrillers

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Coffee

Beauty and the Beast

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Treadmillstone

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Do as many study days as you can."

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

Circus trousers

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

"It's not 'Kafkaesque,' it's equal opportunity."

'Is THAT it? You call THAT turning into a prince?'

Puppy school vs. kitten school

She provided customer service training to a diverse audience.

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

Mrs Dellarosa will teach us a catch tune about how to use the new copier.

Executive board meeting discussing new training strategy.

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

I'm here for my training course. - 'Please take a seat' - 'Ah... ten blissful minutes to read the paper in silence.' - '' - 'Did you park in the red bay?' - 'Yes.' - 'Big mistake, 'half pint'. You can't park there.' - 'But...' - 'Move it!!!' - 'Okay, ok

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

'You just grew three inches.'

Course of Training for Rugger Novices

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."