Trainee Surgeon T-Shirts

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

Body Building

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

On board the MS Hepatology

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

Surgeon to other: 'First organ transplant?'

"First of all, where and what is a prostrate?"

'Remember the NHS ethos; if it ain't broke, break it. Then make sure it can't be mended.'

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"Firstly, have you ever had an appendix out before?"

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

The shakedown escalates.

'Virtual patient.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"I just ate my organ donor card."

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"Sigh! No boating today." "For? Damn!" "Okay, prep her. Oh, and cancel my tee time." "How elective surgery really works."

"Don't worry about a thing, I learned to do this in prison."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."