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Sewing for Dummies.

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Physician tending a mummy.

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

X-ray Psychology.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'