Trailer Aficionado Gifts

Previews: They get longer and longer until. . . there is no movie.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Kritik's Korner

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Canadian film production

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

The Philip Marlow family

Turtle Trailer Court

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Sale.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

100 best beheadings

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Movies vs. Films

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'