Traffic Tale Tellers Gifts

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Rockefeller Center."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

'Go to Hell'

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

Benefits of Living Abroad

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. XII. - Sincere grief at the destruction of the Crystal Palace

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

Car with upright Christmas tree.

School bus. Stop. Learn.

"I had that James Herriot bloke in the back of my cow the other day..."

"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

"I have to do something when the stock market is up."

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

'You know when I was a kid, all the stoplights were in black and white. Pretty dang confusing, actually.'

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'He wouldn't need to walk for exercise, if he had a tail to wag.'

People of low social status next 4 exits.

Public transit

'Price check on taxi ride to Seventh Avenue and Belmont!'

"Do you have any idea how small the print is on your bumper sticker?"

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

"I had the right of way, but the other guy had the truck."