Traffic Tale Teller T-Shirts

"How do you know my brake lights weren't working - you destroyed the evidence."

"This is nothing - you should see my driving instructor!"

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

"I had the right of way, but the other guy had the truck."

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Rockefeller Center."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'That's not the speed limit! It's the number of cameras in the area!'

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'Go to Hell'

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

Benefits of Living Abroad

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

'It's new government policy - we have to include affordable edifices.'

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. XII. - Sincere grief at the destruction of the Crystal Palace

Uber Files

School bus. Stop. Learn.

"I had that James Herriot bloke in the back of my cow the other day..."

Car with upright Christmas tree.

"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

"They were right. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"I have to do something when the stock market is up."

'You know when I was a kid, all the stoplights were in black and white. Pretty dang confusing, actually.'

'Price check on taxi ride to Seventh Avenue and Belmont!'

Public transit

"Do you have any idea how small the print is on your bumper sticker?"

People of low social status next 4 exits.

'Happy Father's Day, Dad. You were always there for me, except for that close call on highway 16.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.