Traffic Tale Comedians Pillows

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

'It's a slow trap.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

Slow, Men at Work.

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Snail Crossing.

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'No, Mr. Flanagan,I didn't pull you over to harass you for being a biker...'

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

'Why do they call it the school RUN Mummy?'

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Goats.