Traffic Signal Scofflaw Gifts

'Ronnie has never stopped at amber.'

Push for Disco...

Cupid paints Stop sign

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

'Can't you read?'

"Buses and 2 person carpools only"

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Self-Reflecting Pool

"Hurry up please! I think i'm parked in a no-parking zone!"

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'I'll do the talking.'

UFO at the traffic lights...

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

Yield. Stop. We went out a couple of times, but I got tired of the mixed signals.

'Isn't being self-centred a disability?'

'Rotten luck - They've spotted me parking on thish double yellow line!'

Fred didn't understand why he was being given a ticket when he did technically stop.

'There's a policeman here who thinks I shouldn't be talking on the cellphone while driving.'

How many pints have you had, son? Only two, semi-skimmed.

"My entire day has been like this!"

"I'll let you off with a warning this time , Sir"

'How fast? Maybe you had the radar gun upside down and it was an airplane.'

HEARSE XING

The Insanity Plea.

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

"Oh, yeah, have a Merry Christmas, Santa."

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

"Sire. I fear that we shall have to turn back. He has a hi-vis vest and a road cone."