Traffic Signal Scofflaw Gifts

'Ronnie has never stopped at amber.'

Push for Disco...

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"Why do they call this 'Traffic Calming' again...?"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

'Can't you read?'

"Buses and 2 person carpools only"

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Self-Reflecting Pool

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"Hurry up please! I think i'm parked in a no-parking zone!"

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'I'll do the talking.'

UFO at the traffic lights...

'Isn't being self-centred a disability?'

'Rotten luck - They've spotted me parking on thish double yellow line!'

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

Fred didn't understand why he was being given a ticket when he did technically stop.

How many pints have you had, son? Only two, semi-skimmed.

'How fast? Maybe you had the radar gun upside down and it was an airplane.'

'There's a policeman here who thinks I shouldn't be talking on the cellphone while driving.'

HEARSE XING

'My speed limit is bigger than yours.'

"My entire day has been like this!"

The Insanity Plea.

"Oh, yeah, have a Merry Christmas, Santa."

"I'll let you off with a warning this time , Sir"

Inexpensive ways to slow speeders....

"Sire. I fear that we shall have to turn back. He has a hi-vis vest and a road cone."