Traffic Laws Gifts

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

'You were speeding.' - 'That's right. To get away from reckless drivers.'

"It was green when I went through it."

The March of Progress; Unbroken land, dirt track, paved road, sleeping policemen, sleeping policeforce, simulated unbroken land.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

'He's got a point.'

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"Do you have any idea how small the print is on your bumper sticker?"

Ten minutes later, the rescue helicopter landed...

"This will maintain your rebellious image in states with helmet laws."

Warning! Forbidden to Extrapolate.

'So this is the third person you've run over this year.'

Side of road with big sign, Police now targeting ill informed drivers.

'you were doing the speed limit. I found that suspicious.'

No Parking in Firelane.

'Here's one of the negative aspects of speeding.'

'Driving without a flag?'

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

"You know, if you caught me, that means you were speeding, too!"

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

"Jesus! Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

For a speeding ticket in English, please honk once.

Presidential Pardons Abound

"Thank God you stopped, you were going so fast I don't know how I ever would have caught up to you."

"Both vehicles stopped at the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel waved. Mr. Wang put his vehicle in gear proceeding to the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel also moved her vehicle forward colliding with Mr. Wang's vehicle. Mrs. Dinkel states she was not waving to give Mr. Wang the right of way; she states she was waving to Mrs. Galdys Hooper-Smith in her vehicle passing overhead on Highway I-95, politely extending a yoo-hoo to Mrs. Hooper-Smith and her Lhasa Apso."

Dog Crossing

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

At the gallery of Fine Art.

'...so until you get your own place - you live by our rules!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."