Traditional Techniques Enthusiast Pillows

'Stick out your tongue. I don't believe in any of the DNA nonsense.'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Shall I be mother?

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"I don't care how many likes you got for it on Facebook it's still a D minus!"

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

Indian hollowing out log for a canoe sees woodpecker pecking his log

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

Amish personal mobility scooter

A dog waits in anticipation for a man to toss a caber

Shaker Timeouts

"It's terribly old fashioned I admit, but I've fallen for a white middle class, male."

"I can remember when all we needed was someone who could carve and someone who could sew."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

Seder Plate Symbols Explained

"I think Maurice has gone feral."

"So you think you can cobble!"

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

Birthday anticlimax.

A dreary maypole

"I'm a meat and potatoes guy in a kale and tofu world."

"Now that Halloween is over, it's time for a much more serious tradition."

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

'Apparently, in the kitchen it is more masculine not to use a power tool.'

"I love a ceremony that has some tradition in it."

"We ask that you help us to appreciate our old traditions...to respect our heritage...and to preserve civilized life on this Earth as we know it. Amen."

Wassailing!