Traditional Culture Enthusiast Pillows

'So much for localism.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Folk Wedding

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Maypole

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Shall I be mother?

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

Shavuot - Like!

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Time for Tea

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

Queen reigning.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

First Marriage.

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'

Elephant Upgrade

Happy Hogmanay!

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"We had this last year."

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

Amish personal mobility scooter