Traditional Songs Gifts

'Knock off the E-I-E-I-O over there, McDonald, or I'm calling the law!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Night of the Latkes

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Mozart on a computer,

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Full English Breakfast.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

Two people play the guitar and harmonica.

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

Bayonne Festival

"I like a Gershwin tune. How about you?"

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

'Stop Hamish! You're playing ma haggis!'

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

"I got this new hat for when we do the collection at the end."

Sinead O'Connor.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

'My parents are trying to wean me off instant gratification.'

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

Soldiers Ball at Huntsville, Alabama. Dancing the Virginia Reel

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

'It's girl power - she sacked her manager.'

'Boy I hate children: They sing 'Eeny Meeny Miney Mo' and then catch me by the toe...'

"It's steak and chips, it is what the ploughman had for lunch!"

"Before I go in, just what did Billy Joe McCaluster throw off the Talihatchie bridge?"