Traditional Meets Modern Art Lover Gifts

'It's a selfie.'

You're my Mona Lisa.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

The Cremaster Cycle

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

Woodworms at a sculpture gallery.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Jackson Pollock as a child

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.