Traditional Media Fan Gifts

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I traded a motherboard for three DVD's. They were bogus, so I tossed them out the window....'

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"It's not the tossing, it's the catching of the caber that separates the men from the boys."

"Hold still - almost done."

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

Unsocial Media

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"

'CD's: Manufactured pop groups as seen on tv!'

'In my dreams, I can still hear him saying, 'You have low memory storage capacity.''

News Brief: The Saddam trial turned into a shouting match...'Is that like pundits squaring off on TV?'

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

TV Set

"Roughly translated, it says: this wall is now available on video and DVD."

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

"How can you call yourself a left-leaning audiophile if you've never heard NPR on vinyl?"

'They say TV kills the art of conversation...'

'Oh good! You fetched a printout of the internet version of the newspaper.'

couldn't you have waited to the final episode of desperate housewives