Traditional Media Enthusiast Gifts

'Oh good! You fetched a printout of the internet version of the newspaper.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"They grow up so fast."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Create some buzz!

Newspaper suicide.

Binge Watch

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Presenter Auditions.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"Is anything good on?"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Man selling lamb weekly

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"Actually, I work for a newspaper, but people won't talk to me without it."

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

Silly News.

"Hey! This is news."

"News anchors' spring fashion show"

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"'60 Minutes' is on."

"Our school paper was bought by Rupert Murdoch."

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

'I think it comes from watching too much television.'

"I am not a candidate. Just ask my campaign manager, press aides and fund raisers."

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.