Traditional Cooking Gifts

Homemade Jam.

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

"Fine! Tell Tia Carmen the truth, tell her you don't like her stew! But be prepared to live with the consequences, young man."

Night of the Latkes

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Full English Breakfast.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"Baldo, I don't like you eating that nasty food!"

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

Happy St Pancakes Day!

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

"It's steak and chips, it is what the ploughman had for lunch!"

'A wee bowl of porridge can set you up for the day!'

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Shaker Timeouts

Winery: Employees Must Wash Feet Before Returning to Work.

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

'Here's trouble, it's the militant wing of the Philatelic Society!'

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

"I resolve to cook more traditional meals like my lengua casserole and pig's feet stew!"

"It seems an ungrateful and disrespectful monster has taken over Baldo's brain."

Andy is visited by the Ghost of Thanksgiving Future.