Trade Deal Nerd Gifts

Huawei Coffin

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"Have your people call my people."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"I always cry at mergers."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

'Hey! This box of 'made in America' stickers has a sticker on it that says 'made in Taiwan'.'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"Whither NATO?"

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"Obama did what?!"

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'And finally, on these wage demands I give no quarter; a dime is my last offer.'

'The European Economic Community is trading us to the Third World for Paraguay and Sri Lanka!'

With Mort and Sadie so torn over what to see next Saturday night, they've ceased speaking. The parties have called in representatives. Mr. Park merely wishes to see a documentary that challenges the mind as well as the spirit. Whisper whisper whisper whisper ... My client merely wishes to withhold lovin'. Objection!

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."