Trade Comic Pillows

What has really happened in the desert...

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

Jim Carrey,

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."