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If You Can Jump Over This You Must Be On Steroids

The Anti-Gun Lobby Olympics.

"Oh, oh, it looks like they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane three."

'...But Roger was a stupid and arrogant athlete who ignored warnings to stretch out properly before every race.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"Oh no! A bonafide runner!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The Brothers Grime

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"I run around this high school track every morning."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'Here we go again...'

Pole Vault Rules

Cristiano Ronaldo

First Prize!

The Harper Plays Cricket.

A Little Long Jumper.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

Runner going through hurdles.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Fox hunting.

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Football.

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."