Toy Whisperer T-Shirts

'I need a new toy!'

'He's been a perfect jewel, ever since I knocked the stuffing out of him.'

Doll Hospital: All insurance plans accepted.

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Foster failure"

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'