Infant Whisperer T-Shirts

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Quick, start the car!"

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."