Kitten Whisperer T-Shirts

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

'Here's a new cure for my cat allergies. Divorce.'

'Sometimes I think they understand every word we're saying.'

'Remember, the best time to walk on it is just after they've washed it.'

'If only we could learn how to open these things, we wouldn't be dependent anymore...'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Foster failure"

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Biofelineism

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'You know too much!'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Hush puppy.

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'