Toy Assembler T-Shirts

Caution: use only under child supervison

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

"Young Frankenstein"

Director/Action Man toy.

The Hobby Store

Rocking horse

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Modern kite for wind energy.

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Lego Haircut

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'He loves that Lego set we bought for his birthday.'

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

Computerized Dollhouse.

The Santa Myth, 2015 edition

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

It's more than a mike!

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Remote control Broomstick and Butterfly

The Allied Toy Company utilizes wind power as part of its green initiative.

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

'It's a self-build.'