Toxicity Challenger Pillows

"O.K., let's confront the issues of masculinity!"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Alternative Medicine

Freedom of Speech

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'You will tell me if you have any doubts about my formulae, won't you?'

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"Always a bridesmaid..."

When a nanosecond is forever.

Voting Difficulties

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'This is his diary... Listen: 'Polar Circle, 8th of December. I still don't believe in Global warming...' '

The Power of the Pen

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)

"My paper will revolutionise our perception of core scientific principles..."

'American Harlequin ladybird. It can give one quite a nasty nip.'

"It's not like I have some weird obsession with mud, but it keeps mom's expectations of cleanliness down to a reasonable level."

Happy Durersgiving

Leaf falling in the desert

"Oh, yeah, tough guy? Well, maybe this is the night I mop up the floor with you."

"I didn't know the 'old boys' network had a website."

"I'm not going to shovel the walk. I'm cleaning my room."

Fly fishing

R.I.P. J.Q. Public: his crowdfunding skills just didn't measure up