Tournament Junkie Pillows

"I came to a sports doctor because I fell off the sofa cheering for a 'March Madness' basketball team."

'Oh, yes-he popped the question alright-'Who's gonna win the cup?'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Football

"He 3 putted from 2 feet to lose the league championship. After 5 years, you would think he would get over it."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Cheerleaders

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

A woman watches football on her computer.

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Competitive tic-tac-toe

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

Bernard Hinault

Sergio Aguero

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

The Knockout.

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."