Tour Fanatic Gifts

"You never take me on Royal Tours anymore."

Tour

Glastonbury. After.

The Vineyard

Mardi Gras

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Southwark Fair.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Astral Projection

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Punk Reindeer

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"Check out this new store."

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Robbie Williams

Volcaniax

Airport

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

Chris Froome

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'