Tour Bus Traveler Gifts

Sightseeing/Scentsniffing

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Vacation Bus Photo

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Busking during a pandemic

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Anything to declare?'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Bev puts on an old favorite

'Please Miss, why does 'Earl's Court' have an apostrophe but 'barons Court' doesn't?'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

Commuter doing some gardening on the train

English man in Australia during christmas

A man lies across the humps of a camel.

"There's no water, but there is a vibrant arts community."

'Is there an empty apartment I can use for cultural events?'

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

"This is too much homework, Ms. Fraily. We're only allowed one carry-on on the bus."

'Pack this yourself, Miss?' (Nelly the elephant at customs).

"Hello? I can't talk right now! I'm on a plane! What?! No! Just leave some food in her dish! What?! I can't talk!"

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"Emotional baggage"