Toupee Tuner Pillows

'Do you have a hair dye that will make my beard match the natural color of my toupee?'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

Trumpet

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

Straightening up.

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

I love my violin

'Please stand by. Our Newscaster has lost his toupee.'

Do you know if your business has the right leader?

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

Tired of being called a 'Bald Eagle,' Alan finally springs for that toupee.

'I wouldn't recommend this job to anyone with a toupee.'

'I don't think he sucks so much as his influences suck.'

CONGRESS, 'Actually, his hair is the most genuine part of him.'

"Well, okay, but it's got to go if I start hearing any belligerent tweets."

"Doctor, my husband and I are suffering from insomnia!"

'No donation is too small. Just fold it up and drop it in.'

'Toupee or not toupee, THAT is the question.'

A bald Lion trying out a new hairpiece.

'Toupee!'

Trump

Tish Marsh - Grow Your Own Wig Kit.