Toupee Tuner Pillows

'Do you have a hair dye that will make my beard match the natural color of my toupee?'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

Trumpet

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

Straightening up.

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

I love my violin

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

'Please stand by. Our Newscaster has lost his toupee.'

'I wouldn't recommend this job to anyone with a toupee.'

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

Tired of being called a 'Bald Eagle,' Alan finally springs for that toupee.

Do you know if your business has the right leader?

'I don't think he sucks so much as his influences suck.'

CONGRESS, 'Actually, his hair is the most genuine part of him.'

'No donation is too small. Just fold it up and drop it in.'

'Toupee or not toupee, THAT is the question.'

"Well, okay, but it's got to go if I start hearing any belligerent tweets."

A bald Lion trying out a new hairpiece.

"Doctor, my husband and I are suffering from insomnia!"

'Toupee!'

Trump

Tish Marsh - Grow Your Own Wig Kit.