Toupee Tracker T-Shirts

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Currently Boston

Pond Dipping...

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

A fisherman carries a rainbow trout.

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

Loser's Podium.

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

"These, my son, are the tracks of a very dangerous animal we should always try to avoid..."

Elephant Tracks.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

"Rex, come up here and mark your territory."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

We are not alone!

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

"It's boy meets girl, boy and girl do everything you've seen in every other movie."

Shooting in Ireland

You're just reading the stuff scrolling across the bottom...

'Took me all night to write that message.'

'To tell you the truth I don't what it is.'

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

"How the hell does he do that?"

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- There's no such thing as a 'triploon'!'