Toupee Tracker T-Shirts

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

Currently Boston

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

Pond Dipping...

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

A fisherman carries a rainbow trout.

Loser's Podium.

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

"These, my son, are the tracks of a very dangerous animal we should always try to avoid..."

Elephant Tracks.

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

We are not alone!

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

"Well done, yes, it's a skunk scent. Concentrate though, can you smell the faint trace of perfume? It's a female skunk..."

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

"Rex, come up here and mark your territory."

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

You're just reading the stuff scrolling across the bottom...

Shooting in Ireland

"It's boy meets girl, boy and girl do everything you've seen in every other movie."

'Took me all night to write that message.'

'To tell you the truth I don't what it is.'

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- There's no such thing as a 'triploon'!'

'Bear tracks! I'd say, two days old.'