Touchdown Storyteller T-Shirts

Football on field mugging.

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Megan Anna Rapinoe

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"You're back! You're really back...!"

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

Football

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'