Totem Pole Collector T-Shirts

American Indian Snails

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Small child checks out a book.

'Do you come here often?'

OMG UR HOT

Employee of the month...

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

One book... One book... One book...

'I knew the day would come when we'd regret moving next door to a genetic research facility.'

"Come on, drink up! Haven't you got gnomes to go to!?!"

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

'You had me at hell.'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"Which free tote goes best?"

Turkey Dinner and gravity

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

"No, I'm not selling lawn gnomes. I'm selling knit hats like the one my husband's modeling in the picture."

That's great, Michelangelo, but the Pope really just wants some gnomes.

'Sorry, I'm not disturbing you, am I?' (Man has tattoos, piercings, Satan on forehead)

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

'Too bad loosing your ball, but I've found a rare Trifolium Occidentale.'

Life's Rarest Things

'Hiya, spaceman.'

Harold Wilson