Tortoise Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'My wife left me months ago...That's her over there.'

'This is my new carbon fibre shell: Ten times as strong, fifty times as light...'

'At least, we're marooned on a big island: It took me an hour to walk around it...'

Fat Kid 8- Sits on a tortiose

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

Rainy day despondency phobia: 'Poor George can't stand the pitter-patter of rain on his shell.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Eat my dust!"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'Multiple personality.'