Tort Lawyer Pillows

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"