Criminal Lawyer Pillows

"For the benefit of the tape, the suspect grunted and shook his head."

"Five Guys in Witness Protection."

"I'm also a criminal, cyber criminal!"

'Great news, I finally got your 'stay of execution'.'

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

When real estate lawyers dabble in criminal law.

I know your sign says you guys 'Practice Law'. But , I kinda need someone who can do it for real.

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'Emotional blackmail.'

"This, ladies and gentlemen, is Exhibit A, the sneakers that urged my client to Just Do It."

'I think I can get one of your three life sentences dismissed.'

Cheating in the police line up.

'When on the stand, keep your answers short, to the point, and in the form of a question.'

'I can help you beat the forgery rap, but you'll have to pay me in cash.'

"Well you've been misinformed... our harshest punishment is loss of colour T.V for a week."

Want my professional advice or my honest opinion?

"That's right—keep that same wistful smile we had on the profile!"

"That's doctor inmate #2264."

Police Lineup Escape

'You've left DNA samples all over the place!'

Cell division

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'..but at the end of the day it was just my word against the DNA.'

"You can't tell me the police don't notice something like that!"

'I'm a criminal lawyer.' 'I'm a criminal accountant.'

'No, no, no. Our insurance pays you when a tragedy happens, Mr. Soprano.'

Mugshot selfie stick

'Thank you, and Happy New Year.'

'We made it! We're on the most wanted list!'

Police lineup with smileys.

White Collar Crime.

'I let my conscience be my guide, and it turned out to be a sociopath.'