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"A pillar of salt? Why, you poor, poor man."

Moses's tablets read Buy One, Get One Free.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'Yes, all at once!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Moses as a child.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Adam and Eve Arrested

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"First, do no ham."

'That looks tempting.'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

'The plan is that we wander in the desert until somebody recognizes our right to exist.'

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Safer Torah

Torah-nosaurus Rex

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Manna Helper

"God is out to get me."

Torah reading on the subway.

Benaiah questions the mighty men on who pushed him in the pit.

Samson Gets Off at Fourteen

Haman as a child