Toothpaste Testers T-Shirts

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Toothbrush Romance

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cereal Tasting.

Avocado Timeline

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Damn these super powers!"

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

Dijon Vu

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

Red wine teeth