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'Was it you who screamed?' 'No the dentist.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Tooth fairy pays with card

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Now she could watch the special on root canal treatment."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"Have a seat. She's not ready. She's still in her whitening strip."

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

"Hopefully, the 7-foot guy is on our side."

"Remember toothache!!!"

'That should do it. We'll see you in six months for your next cleaning.'

'Going private also means I get ten per cent off Dental Implants and Replacement Crowns!'

Their honeymoon was a disaster. She spent all night in the bathroom, flossing.

Bicuspid: A cuspid that can go either way.

"Granny must be very rich, she's sold everything to the tooth fairy."

No, I'm not storing food in my cheek right now: I have a toothache...

"Read me that new turtle book that's getting all the buzz."

' How many times a year do you visit the dentist?' 'Twice, one for each tooth.'

'Yes, I'm afraid he's going to need braces...'

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

"God is out to get me."

'That's the second gold tooth he's swallowed.'

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

A beaver with his false teeth in a glass.

You're getting a crown for cosmetic purposes. You're not being made the ruler of all us other teeth.

"This could only be the work of...mal de ojo!"

Dentist.

'Tell me, how do you intend taking my tooth out.'