Tool Upgrade Fanatic Pillows

Thag admires the latest clubs at the cave depot.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Award Winning Gardener

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

Man feeding his computer money.

CLEAR!

The Hammer

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

A crab with a utility knife claw

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

DIY horror.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)