Tool Time Trickster Pillows

Impractical Gardener.

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Award Winning Gardener

A DIY disaster.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

DIY horror.

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

'Hon, come quick! I think we have a major computer bug.'

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

DIY expert.

"Never mind if you're good with people. Can you hack?"

'Safe!'

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

Sewing Machines in Surgery

DIY store.

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'Okay, here's how your contributor's brand new machine works! Now give me my money!'

'What a divot?'

Blue-Collar Workers

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Mechanics price list.

Cyber crime.

"Do you like my new, squirty flower app?"

"So you want to sue NASA because the Mars Rover is blocking your driveway while taking soil samples?"

When Handy Men lose it...

"Last year, my whole family went on a trip. It started on a Tuesday, and ended just in the nick of time."