Tool Specialist T-Shirts

Elmer's Hardware: 'I want one of thingamajigs! You know what I mean, a doohickey!'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Sale! Weed Whackers

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Congratulations on your retirement!

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Waiting for retirement.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions