Tool Shed Tinkerer Gifts

'Close enough?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Early cyborg.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Gadget geek.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'