Tool Seeker Pillows

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

Muscles

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Bench Press Accident

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Courage. Love.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

The Hammer

Exercise Bars

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

Dept. of the Treasury

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Pirate dogs burying bones.

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"Wow, I was expecting to also get a pearl, but I'll take a panini."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.