Tongue-in-cheek Humor Fan Pillows

'You always told me to be honest.'

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

Shall I be mother?

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

Roman Golfer.

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"No Bald Games"

The Living End.

Keister Island.