Tomb Raider Humorist T-Shirts

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

Cat in a tank...

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Pirates at the mall.

'It was this big. I swear'

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

French Army knife

'...and this is the Mess.'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

A Semicolon.

'At last! Some decent kit.'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Banting in the Yeomanry

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

At a Country House

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'I got one this small.'

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

Beware of the dog.

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

So, how are you planning on eating that?