Naval Humorist T-Shirts

"It works fine - we are just no longer a nuclear family."

Submarine and beer

Cat in a tank...

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Japanese Whaling

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Man painting MOM on boat

"Did you call for a Medic?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

French Army knife

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

'At last! Some decent kit.'